Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
That accounts for only three of the penises
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize