Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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