Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
