mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
