i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
