Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
