stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
