You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
