also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
A bitchslap is in order.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
