SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
