I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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