If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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