Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize