Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
