You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
