I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I will be naked everywhere
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
