I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
