I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
