Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
my poor anus
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize