just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Terrible idea I love it
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
