I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
