Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
