I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
actually, I'm a sock model
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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