Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
