You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
a search helicopter?!
Semen is not good for contacts.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize