I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
