There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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