No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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