I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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