Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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