there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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