FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
