he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
