david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
