Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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