I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he fucked my hip out of place.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
