I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
