I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize