I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
