if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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