i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
