help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize