well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
