the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
