we're blogging at a bar
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
