Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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