what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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