69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
