U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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