Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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