I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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