i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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