Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
