maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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