Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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