I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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