This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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