I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
