We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
