brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
