Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
