You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
being pregnant is like rehab
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
